Kelly's Writing

Queens College

Revision List

Filed under: Uncategorized — Kelly Santana at 11:06 pm on Friday, February 17, 2017

After receiving feedback on my draft from Professor Tougaw and Michelle (thanks for all your help!), I realized there are a few things I really need to focus on fixing:

  • Making my own voice in my paper stand out. It’s hidden in the the summary of my sources.
  • Making more of my own claims and follow that up with analysis; that way, my voice can stand out that much more. (And don’t start new idea using the words of a source. Add in sources in analysis. I have a tendency to make a source make a claim for me).
  • I still need work on the structure of my paper. I should address my sources early on in the essay, explaining what’s being said so that there can be more of a conversation between them all. I still feel like there’s a gap that won’t allow the sources to engage with one another.
  • More sources: Why Do We Care about Literary Characters by Blakey Vermeule, Empathy and the Novel by Suzanne Keen, Thinking with Literature by Terence Cave. I think these sources are great because they address literature directly and its effects on readers. It’ll help me explain exactly how literature can impact readers.
  • Be more specific when making new claims and introducing new ideas. Instead of being vague, introduce new points as detailed as possible so as not to confuse the reader.
  • Focus on what my motives are for writing so I don’t get lost and lose my focus. What do I want to address? What do I want the reader to take away from my paper?

I think the first thing I want to focus on is finding myself in my paper and restructuring what I already have that isn’t particularly working well. I want to make sure that I’m making strong claims myself, and that my writing is as clear as possible. Then I want to add my new sources in to make my paper much stronger overall.



   Jason Tougaw

February 19, 2017 @ 3:21 pm

Great list. If you do all this–and it feels very much within your grasp–it will make a very big difference. The essay will come into focus and your arguments will become sharper. It’s exciting to imagine.


   Michelle Coleman

February 19, 2017 @ 3:31 pm

Hi Kelly! These are great steps to revising your paper. I especially like that you’ve already found additional sources to incorporate. I also think that including your voice more and letting the sources support you instead of vice versa will let your excitement about your topic shine through! Being specific will also let you break your argument (and paper) down into parts, which will also help with any organizational revisions you want to make. You’re making great progress, and I can’t wait to read your next draft!

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